And the Parent of the Year Award Goes to…

6 Dec

So a while back I received this email with a bunch of pictures of people who should be nominated for “Parent of the Year.”  It solidified the support of my theory that every person should have to pass a parenting test before they are allowed to have children.  Here are some funny, yet shocking and terrible, ones for you to check out.  Brace yourself because people will never cease to amazing you with their stupidity.

Trick or Treat!

“Trick or Treat!”


“Who needs a helmet when I can just cover my kid’s entire head with a plastic bag and let them suffocate to death? Not me. That’s for sure.”


I think this baby in the bucket may be photo-shopped…but I really can’t tell. Either way, the baby is on that woman’s back and there are 8 people on this motorcycle.


“Here son. Carry my booze in your baby shopping cart.”


“As long as we don’t go too fast, our baby should be fine, right honey?”


“No way these raccoons are rabid. They are out in the daylight.”


“Don’t worry, if I fall forward like I normally do, my baby will catch me. It’s fine.”


“I’ll just set you down right here in the middle of the road while I load up the car. Other drivers will dodge you.”


“Don’t make any sudden movements or you will be electrocuted.”


Cat-calling to a chick in a bikini. in a bar. If you are going to encourage the degrading of women, especially in front of your daughter, do it silently.


“Go slow around those corners! Our Tetris babies aren’t strapped in!”


“My large ass will just be a cushion for your face in case we crash. It’s only a minor detail that you can’t breathe well and what you smell is nothing pleasant.”


“I’ll just snap this topless pic to put on the internet to get some decent man to marry me… Johnny, get out of the picture!”


“Don’t worry it’s a trained snake.”


“Now where did I put my kid?”


“Babies drink champagne off the ground all the time. It’s good for them.”


Wow. Just wow. That is all I can say about this one.


“Smoking. It promotes healthy growth for your baby.”


“Suzie, your teachers told me to start helping you prep for college…relax your throat and take big gulps.”


This little girl is morbidly obese and I’m pretty positive WAY passed the weight limit for this stroller. She needs to be walking around and not have the ice cream she’s eating! Fat kids make me sad. It should be child abuse.


“Rock a bye baby, in the swimming moat.
When the wind blows, you’ll fall off the float.
When you fall off, you’ll surely drown.
I’ll have one less baby, one problem down.”


I seriously hope that this gun is fake. If not, this may have been the last picture of this cute little baby.


“I’m so awesome at windsurfing so I never fall. If by some crazy chance that I do, I’ll be fine but I’m pretty sure my kid will drown while he’s strapped to my chest under water.”


“Car seats, schmar schmeats.” Even this kid looks terrified.


“I gotta hit the jackpot so I can feed you this week. Sit back here in your carrier and be quiet.”


“There you go, Candy! Just like Mommy! Tomorrow I’ll show you how to give a lap dance.”


“It’s bring your kid to work day at the strip club! Why are they crying?”


“It’s only an hour Pilates class. There is plenty of room in this locker for you and you can even see out of it! Plus, the $1 of quarters is WAY cheaper than a babysitter.”


“Smile for our Christmas card.” –seriously. Why is this okay? I am just praying this isn’t their mother…gross.


“They were hungry so I brought them home everything on the menu. They will eat it all, don’t worry. That’s a rule in our house.”


“Dude, my son is a little toker, just like Daddy. I’m, like, so proud.  It’s rad, man.”

And last but not least, my personal favorite…


“Who needs a carrier when you have a grocery bag?”

And to think, you have to get a license to fish!

Take this time to thank your parents for not being completely incompetent and be thankful that none of these are you.  If one of them happens to be you, I am terribly sorry for your childhood and I support you suing your parents in order to pay for therapy…or hospital bills.


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